“What I’ve learned is that you should not ask a Norwegian what he likes about firewood, but how he does it—because that’s the way he reveals himself. You can tell a lot about a person from his firewood stack.”
"He wants to figure out, when he comes over to your house, he wants to figure out, ‘Well, your boiler’s not working. How are we going to fix the boiler?’ and ‘Have you noticed that some of your trees are dying out there? Why are your trees dying? What’s causing that? Can we figure that out, and can we go down to the hardware store and see if they’ve got something to fix that?’ And all of a sudden you see him driving a tractor in your backyard, and he’s pulling stuff up. He’s like, ‘Oh, these rocks were doing that.’ I mean, that’s just who he is."
26-year-old Sarah Barnes’s alleged response to allegedly burning down the fifth oldest tree in the world—a 3,500-year-old, 118-foot-tall bald cypress—while (allegedly) on meth. Barnes is allegedly from Florida.