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“Michael Bay offered a $50,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and successful prosecution of a woman who threw puppies into a river.”

"No."

— A One-Word Review Of “Scary Movie 5”

"I tell my students [John Wilkes Booth] was more on par with Billy Baldwin than Alec."

— Expert: New made-for-TV Lincoln movie based on Bill O’Reilly book is more historically accurate than Spielberg’s Lincoln.

"Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters—a new action film presented in IMAX 3D that is very loosely based on the famous German fairy tale—delivers surprisingly profound commentary on the epidemic of diabetes."

— From our film critic’s review of Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters in 3D. (Just read it to find out why, already.)

"If you do not go see the new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie now, you are failing your country, your family, and your own personal god."

— A one-sentence review of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s The Last Stand.

"With ‘Gangster Squad,’ we get a pulpy endorsement of extrajudicial killing, made all the more palatable by Ryan Gosling’s roguish charms. Meanwhile, ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ delivers a history lesson in how America conquered Bin Laden through the sheer force of torture and feminist overtones."

— This weekend at the movies: A civil libertarian’s nightmare.

"If Matt Damon & Co. really wanted to make a movie that would scare American audiences off of fracking for good, they should have just made a movie dramatizing fracking’s potential threat to America’s beer. Instead, what we get is a quaint love story wrapped in a conspiracy movie, draped in a toothless political polemic, festooned with mawkish aimlessness."

— Our movie critic Asawin Suebsaeng reviews Matt Damon and Gus Van Sant’s new anti-fracking film Promised Land.

A trailer-trash opera, a Great Recession movie, bootleggers, Channing Tatum, and an HBO documentary all made our film critic’s “best of 2012” list. (Adam Sandler and Lindsay Lohan made the list of “very worst.”)

"It has Gerard Butler in it."

— A 6-word review of Playing for Keeps, the new Gerard Butler romantic comedy.

"He’s attacked Animal Planet as godless propaganda directed at children. He’s trolled Richard Dawkins. He has sent cards to the elderly in New Zealand reminding them that they’re going to die."

— A brief description of the man who just released a new John Lennon movie.

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Check out more infographics and stunning stats on gender disparities in film and TV (even children’s shows).

"I always feel that crime films are about capitalism."

— Andrew Dominik, director of the superb new film, Killing Them Softly, starring Brad Pitt as a mob hitman.

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Statistics on ways in which women and girls are stereotyped, sexualized, and underrepresented in movies and television—even on children’s TV shows.

Yes, this movie actually exists: It’s about an evil turkey who attacks college kids while they’re on Thanksgiving break.

"To pose the North Koreans as a credible threat to the continental United States is as ridiculous as the spectre of all-out alien invasion. Also, how exactly would they get from there to here??"

— Foreign policy experts weigh in on the Red Dawn remake, in which the North Koreans invade and conquer large parts of America.