Says NRA honcho Wayne Lapierre (who took the job from Charlton Heston):
“The Obama administration saw those historic battles and hatched a political conspiracy to deceive Americans and hide its true agenda to dismantle the Second Amendment and our freedom. By delaying its anti-gun legislative agenda, it’s tried to dupe gun owners into believing our fundamental freedom is safe.”
Another reader points out that Lapierre’s been banging the Obama-secret-plan-to-steal-guns-by-not-stealin-guns drum for at least a month and a half now. Here’s a video from Media Matters showing the NRA head brandishing his tin-foil hat back in September.
Here are some other ideas for the Cold Case Posse: Was Zachary Taylor secretly poisoned? Did Hillary Clinton order a hit on a former aide’s cat? Was Dwight D. Eisenhower secretly controlled by his communist brother, Milton? What if we’re all color-blind and people who are color-blind actually have normal vision? Why does the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department own a tank?
Got some more enduring mysteries for the Cold Case Posse? Leave ‘em in the comments.
Two GOP congressmen believe President Obama has a secret plan to steal the 2012 election: Grant citizenship en masse to millions of undocumented residents, who will in turn reward him with their votes. Surprise: They haven’t really thought this through.
As Bachmann explained to a perplexed chamber, sustainability, as defined by UN agreements like Agenda 21 and the UN Biodiversity treaty, would mean an end to resource extraction as we know it. “Last year in one of our committees, we had a guy come in and talk about the sustainable way of life,” she said. “And he gave the definition of sustainable and it struck me as kind of odd. He said that what sustainable means is that we’ve already taken everything out of the earth that we’re going to take out.”
And then Bachmann brought up a now familiar topic. “We already have all of the light bulbs that we need to have in the earth,” she recalled the expert saying. “We don’t need to make any more light bulbs. And so I’m thinking, ‘You mean for all time? And that’s part of sustainability, is for all time we already have the light bulbs that we need and apparently we’ll change filaments as they go out.’”
Happy 39th Birthday, Watergate burglary! Today, the National Archives released this nifty video about the efforts to figure out what was in the missing minutes of the Watergate tapes. Here’s the full backstory.
“Here’s the rock and hard place with a double-edged sword.” (best. mixed metaphor. ever.)
“Rwanda didn’t have anything the international corporations needed. Libya has oil.”
There’s also stuff about mind-control experiments, infecting people with syphilis, testing penicillin, WikiLeaks, having a new revolution (“Vote for anyone but Democrats and Republicans”), 16 million secret documents in 2010, and more. Crazy like a fox, or crazy crazy? You decide.
A couple major developments on the bogeyman beat this week. First, a paranormal investigator says the blood-sucking Chupacabra isn’t real, which is really kind of the opposite of what paranormal investigators are supposed to say. To fill that void, the Rev. Franklin Graham and a handful of GOP-endorsed right-wingers have found a new imaginary threat for you. Read the full story here.