"At one point, he’s in college studying anthropology and you think his life is going to be about that, but next thing you know, he’s working full-time as a waiter,” observer Richard Siegal said. “Then out of the blue you find out that what he really wants to do is get into marketing, and suddenly he’s back in college again. It makes no sense.” “And there’s the big speech he gives his parents about how his life’s passion is for community organizing, but you never hear anything about that again,” Siegal added. “It’s like, why even introduce it in the first place?"
Wait…when did the Onion start covering things that really happen?